Why the Waiting Is Often the Hardest Part

Waiting is one of the most underestimated parts of the cancer journey. It’s the waiting for results. The waiting for phone calls. The waiting between appointments, scans, and next steps. And while treatment days are visible and tangible, waiting is quiet. It leaves space, too much space, for fear, imagination, and exhaustion to grow. For many people, the waiting is harder than the procedures themselves.

Waiting Is Not Passive

From the outside, waiting can look like nothing is happening. In reality, waiting is active work. It requires holding uncertainty without resolution. It asks people to continue daily life while their minds remain tethered to unanswered questions. It demands emotional regulation at a time when clarity would feel far more stabilizing. Waiting takes energy, even when the body is still.

Why the Mind Struggles With Waiting

The human brain is wired to seek certainty. When it doesn’t have answers, it fills the gaps.

During periods of waiting, many people notice:

• Heightened anxiety or restlessness

• Difficulty concentrating or sleeping

• Racing or intrusive thoughts

• Emotional swings without clear triggers

• A sense of being “on edge,” even during ordinary moments

This is not a personal weakness. It is a natural response to uncertainty. When the outcome matters deeply, and cancer always does, waiting can feel unbearable.

The Unique Stress of Scan and Test Results

Scan results and test outcomes carry a particular weight. They often represent more than information. They represent hope, fear, relief, or disappointment. This is all compressed into a single phone call or portal notification. Even people who have learned to “expect the best” can feel their bodies react before their minds catch up. Tight shoulders. Shallow breathing. A racing heart.

These reactions are common. They are not overreactions.

Why Waiting Can Feel Isolating

Waiting is difficult to explain to others. There may be nothing new to report. No updates to share. No visible changes. And because of that, people often feel pressure to appear “fine” while quietly counting the hours or days until the next piece of information arrives. This can create a sense of isolation even when surrounded by support. Waiting often feels like carrying something heavy that no one else can see.

Gentle Ways to Support Yourself During Waiting

Waiting cannot be eliminated but it can be held more gently.

Some people find it helpful to:

• Limit how often they check patient portals or emails

• Create small routines that bring predictability to the day

• Ground themselves in physical sensations like walking, stretching, or breathing

• Write down fears rather than letting them loop silently

• Allow emotions without trying to fix them

There is no “right” way to wait. The goal is not to be calm, it is to be supported.

A Gentle Closing Thought

If waiting feels harder than treatment, you are not imagining it. Waiting requires strength without action, patience without reassurance, and endurance without timelines. It is real work, even when it looks invisible. If you are in a season of waiting, know this: you are not weak for struggling with it. You are responding to uncertainty the best way a human mind knows how.

Northbound Roots exists to name these moments so that even in the waiting, you don’t have to feel alone.